i'm loosing my control...

salam again...
only today i feels like writting..

i woke up at 12pm..& i felt dizzy..
i used to be in the library rite now..
but due to my dizzy-nest
i hold that for a while..

i went to the nearest cafe to buy lunch
even it still far for me to walk
i came back with shaking..n cannot finish my lunch

its weekend...and i'm all alone
my friends going back..leaving me lying on my bed
but i'm not lonely..

i loved taking picture
but i dont have a camera
but poeple still credit me for my picture
eventhough it captured by using my phone

everyone wish to have a nice boyfriend
lucky i have one..
whom nicer than everyone
but most of the time, i exploid the kindness
n can't stop blaming myself for that..

i stole..
even i know it was a sin
but whom should i blame?
when i'm running out of bucks?

for the passed years..
i've been thinking bout my study
what college, what programme..
n now i've only a year to finish
which i can't stop to think bout my career..

i have alot of friends
part of them are my 'buddies'
but only now i realized
my only best buddy is 'her'

i used to get friend with everyone
but none of them was really suit with my soul
n yes..it was only 'her'..
but she's not even know i have a blog..

i troubled a lot of people
i broke the promises
i ruin the plan
i spoil everything
but what can i say..
i'm sorry for that...

i missed my mom
i missed my cat..
i missed to take breath in my home
and of cuz i missed him alot...
but they're miles away.....

i used to be busy doing my final year projects
but i still have time updating my blog
editting my page in friendster, myspace n fb..
n yes..i'm waisting my time

i shop alot
until i overspend my money
but who cares..
i know everyone loves me

i respect my bf very much
not because he's my bf
but bcuz he never show his anger
to the person he love..

i feel wanna cry
but i'm tired of crying
feeling like i'm just waisting my tears

working is sucks...
but i need the bucks
i wish i can be like this forever
which i know i wont

i had a dream..
but it was a nightmare..

i want to get married
with the person that i loved so much
but i'm more prefer to talk about
my own career
can't wait to have my own car
rather than a baby
dreaming of my own house
rather than a husband..
whats wrong with me?

sometimes i loose control
i scold people
but he was always there to calm me
end up..i scold him
but y he never scold me back?

there's alot of things happened
that sometimes i felt regrets
but it wont take long..
pretty soon it happend again..
n i feel regret again..

i have plenty of mistakes
that i called them as 'experience'

i just remember one thing
life is not measured by the number of breath i take
but by the moments that takes my breath away..

thank you for reading..
as long as you understand my words
my 'poor english' doesnt too obvious..